Writing , has always been an area that I was scared to explore. I thought that thousands of individuals would read what I had written and would smirk at it saying, “she needs to be ‘not’ writing”. How would I encounter that? These were the thoughts that kept haunting me and I pushed all my creative and imaginative powers to the sea bed. It was hard. To overcome a barrier that you were so successful in building for yourself. We always think of making a change in our lives. We never think of how well we are gonna succeed in making this life better. “It is just a phase”, we tell ourselves. But, these affirmations are never ending. They go on and on and on. You never cease to make these Goddamn affirmations, thinking that they would do good for you. You are an “existential” being. You believe in things that please you and rubbish the others without even making an effort to reason them out. This is what “life” has to say to you. It takes centuries for you to die. You catch a disease and you live with it. You accept it and by the time you are on your death bed, you will fall in love with a person and that person is none other than “you”. Whom you despised the most. The need for living a few more days, months and years to see your daughter grow into a fine lady might be the only thing on your mind. You cease to be the once “intellectual” woman who once stole someone’s heart. You will have many visitors at your house, trying to cramp their schedules and making an effort to meet you and see you fake a smile and say “thanks for dropping by, it meant a lot”. Let me tell you, it doesn’t make a goddamn difference whether you pushed a meeting to 3 or delayed in wiping your son’s butt smeared with poop. You just SHOW up. No matter how hard it is. You make your esteemed presence felt.


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